


Bad decisions were made

by Sprog



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Peter Parker, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Gen, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Mutant discrimination, Mutantism, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter doesn't like the avengers very much, References to The Avengers, References to the X-Men, SHIELD, Teacher Peter Parker, discrimination against mutants, not really but like - Freeform, there are some background ocs, this is all platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sprog/pseuds/Sprog
Summary: Peter really should listen to Tony. At least once in a while. Especially when it's about putting your nose in a mercenary's business.But, really. Where's the fun in that?
Relationships: Harry Osborn & Peter Parker, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	1. We're so elitist

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I'm a non native english speaker, so I apologize in advance for any discomfort this could bring. This also means that I have no idea of how New York works, so I hope everything makes sense.  
> i mismatch canons, so this doesn't take place in any particular universe. Lots of things have happened, some from cartoons and some from comics and movies. Some I just made up.  
> You don't need to know all the franchises, a basic knowledge of Spider-Man in general is enough, since I also explain basically everything.  
> I appreciate any feedback, and I hope you liked this. More should come soon!  
> For anyone wondering the chapter title is referencing the mutantism in the chapter. Because humans are jerks.

He should've seen it coming. He really should've predicted it. It was bound to happen and he was still surprised about it like it wasn't the most obvious outcome ever. And the only real reason he's so upset about it is that he knows he'll have to hear Tony say "I told you so"... again.

He's really not used to being followed like this. Or actually, maybe it's more accurate to say that he's not used to being followed as good ol' Peter Parker.

The worst is having to make it seem like he didn't notice, but honestly maybe it wouldn't be so weird if he admitted to noticing the 190cm tall, super bulky man wearing a hoodie that's so obviously trying to hide several weapons.

Ok, maybe it's just a gun (not that that isn't bad as well, but it's relatively easier to hide). And maybe it's also hidden pretty well, but he's going to lose it if this goes on for much longer! It's annoying having to fake ignorance, especially with his spider-sense going crazy non stop for days at that point.

But he keeps walking as normally as he can manage, ignoring his entire body asking him to turn around and tell the guy to stop stalking him, and he enters the subway, ready to go teach another day to students that would rather an alien invasion happen than have to study chemistry with him.

And don't get me wrong! He loves his job. He's happy with what he does and shaping young minds is exciting, but some of the kids are absolute nightmares. Teenagers just don't care sometimes, and even if he does his best to be the cool teacher everyone loves he knows they consider him as kind of a dork.

Highschool never ends for real, huh?

He noticed that he's not being followed anymore and he sighs, feeling relieved.

"Thank goodness..." he didn't think he'd last until afternoon if it kept going.

Thinking about it, he couldn't help but wonder why he was being left alone. The stalking had never stopped before, didn't matter what time it was or what he was doing. In fact going out as Spider-man had proved more difficult than ever. Even when he cut out a little time to spend with MJ while she was back in New York for the week, he was still there, like a background character for his life.  
He quickly realized that his spider sense was still going; not as strong as before, proving that it was something different setting it off and he had relatively short time to figure out why.

It kept getting louder and louder and suddenly he was too aware of one teenager standing next to him. He notices that he's probably having a panic attack right there, but that didn't seem enough to set off his spider-sense; shaking and breathing heavily, visibly on the verge of tears, the guy started flickering in and out of existence until he disappeared completely and reappeared behind Peter.

And then he kept doing it: teleporting left and right and even screaming at times. People started running, trying to get away from the out of control enhanced individual and screaming, some to try and get help and some just because of panic.

Peter started running ahead of everyone, trying to direct the people that were trying to escape. He himself is not too worried about the guy, and is in fact a little disappointed in everyone there in the subway with him, because the guy didn't seem to have a dangerous power, even if he did lose control of it, the whole ordeal was nothing more than an annoying inconvenience. Surely the guy himself was feeling worse than anyone else there.

"Stay calm, everyone! He's not dangerous, he just needs help!" he tried to yell at everyone, and maybe it wasn't such a good idea to put himself in the center of attention. People started taking it out on him, shoving and insulting him. Some people even went as far as calling him slurs, assuming that defending who everyone there assumed was a mutant, meant that he himself was one. (Which is not so far from the truth, but professor X would probably laugh at someone defining Spider-man as someone with the X-gene).

Peter was starting to seriously start to lose all hope in humanity.

When most people calmed down or left, he began focusing on helping the guy. He tried to follow him or use his spider-sense to predict where he was going to appear, but the latter was not precise enough to pinpoint the right location.

So, plan B: shouting.

"HEY, BUDDY! YOU MIGHT WANNA SLOW DOWN A BIT" the response was non existent.

Peter still tried to follow his movements, but even with his super-senses it was hard.

"Shouldn't we call the police?!" one of the people that stayed suggested "We can't deal with an out-of-control mutant."

Her suggestion was generally met with agreeing murmurs, but one filippino guy with a hoodie opposed her.

"Don't you know what happens to them when they end up in jail? The system isn't fair! And it's not like he caused any trouble..." he lowered his voice for the last part, probably thinking that a lot of people would disagree with him if they heard him.

Peter was going to thank whoever spoke up later on.

"IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, I'M NOT BUSY RIGHT NOW, OK?" Peter continued his attempts at calming the guy down. It would be so much easier to change into his suit and fix everything as Spidey, but he just couldn't risk it in his current situation... having a stalker really limits your freedom when you have a secret identity.

"WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT, I'LL TRY TO HELP" that seemed to get the attention intended.

"I... I can't stop! Help me please!"

"YOU'RE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK, BUDDY! YOU NEED TO BREATH AND CALM DOWN A LITTLE" Peter knew that he needed a distraction, so he decided to provide one.

"HEY, LISTEN TO MY VOICE, FOCUS. WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME YOUR NAME? I'M PETER"

"I-I'm James" having something to focus on seemed to be doing the trick, at least partially, and James started to breathe better and the crying had almost stopped.

"OK JAMES, YOU'RE DOING GREAT! WHY DON'T WE TALK A LITTLE MORE, HUH?" the spider-sense suddenly started warning him again about some imminent danger, so he looked around, thinking that maybe one of the civilians was the one causing trouble. Upon not being able to identify the threat, he decided to think about it later and keep trying to calm James down completely.

He really hoped that no one called the police. That would not end well.

"I'LL START OK?" James gave a little nod, still teleporting everywhere. "Yes, I...I-d prefer that"

"OK JAMES, DON'T WORRY" he took a pause, thinking about how much he wanted to share with everyone watching. He took the opportunity to also stop and listen to what those that stayed were saying, and the general consensus was that the whole situation was extremely inconvenient. Some people were still adamant about warning the authorities, but the hoodie guy seemed to be taking care of that, as well as calming those that were still panicking with the help of some other people.

Peter will definitely be buying him a coffee and thank him profusely.

Before he could even start telling James anything about himself, his spider-sense went crazy. He'll probably be feeling that while he teaches which won't be fun. Talking from past experience. Maybe he'll show a video, that'd keep them busy.

At that same time, gunshots could be heard in the distance, and before Peter could even think about jumping in front of James to take the bullet for him, he teleported just enough to almost dodge it, getting hit on the leg.

James let out an agonizing scream.

Peter understands, getting shot is in his top 3 most painful things that happened to him. It's surpassed by getting acidic chemicals on his bare skin and healing a bone wrong and having to re-break it himself to set it right.

At first it seemed that the gun shot had worsened the situation, but after a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity, James collapsed on the ground, still flickering a bit, but generally staying put.

He hurried to his side, assessing the damage.

The bullet seemed to have hit him from side to side, fortunately avoiding the femur and exiting on the other side.

"Hey James, it's ok, I know it hurts, but it'll be ok. We'll bring you to a hospital, or to the X-mansion if you prefer" Peter had to stay calm and try to reassure James, as well as the other people.

He looked around, searching for whoever used a gun in a situation like that.

The sound of the train that he should've been on leaving the tracks filled his ears, and his eyes followed the terrified stares of everyone present that witnessed the event to a figure at the very back of the station.

"Great..." he muttered.

Where Peter thought he'd find a police officer, the place was occupied by Deadpool himself.

So his stalker hadn't left after all.

"James stay with me, I'll call an ambulance ok?" he give his attention back to the guy, who was still bleeding on the floor, "Keep putting pressure on it, like that yes" he turned to the people still there, trying to pull them out of the seeming staring contest they were having with the mercenary, who instead was waving happily at them and yapping about something no one could really decipher, "Do me a favor, one of you call the ambulance. Don't contact the police, it'd make things worst"

He took out his burner phone and sent a quick alert message to daredevil. He's still a little salty about Tony and does not want to hear him say "i told you so" and calling him there would endanger his secret identity, while the devil already knows (that super prick with the super sensible super senses... it's impossible to hide something from him).

"Can someone stay on his side? I'll deal with who shot him" he tried appealing to the crowd. As expected, the only volunteer was the hoodie guy.

"Are you sure? The guy seemed dangerous..."

"While he probably is, I think I can manage. Don't worry" he tried to hide his anxiety with a quick reassuring smile "What's your name, by the way? I wanna thank you for what you did today"

"Oh, mmh" he seemed to think about it, questioning whether it was a good idea. Peter doesn't blame him. He was pretty suspicious today "My name's Ned. Nice to meet you"

"Ok, Ned. I’m pretty sure you already know my name, since I just screamed for everyone to hear" They both chuckled, then Peter quickly looked into his backpack for a piece of paper and a pen "Here's my phone number. Message me when you're free. I'll buy you a coffee"

"Thanks, dude" Ned reached for the paper.

Peter made his way to the mercenary, ready to give him a piece of his mind but questioning at that point if it was such a good idea, to put himself at the center of attention again.

"Oh hey!" to his surprise it was Deadpool himself first, addressing him, not really giving him a choice "I love how you dealt with the situation, gorgeous. But next time call the authorities, will you?"

Peter snorted "Dude, I don't understand what you deal is, or what's your problem with me, but I'm pretty sure even you are aware of the discrimination against mutants" he gestured to James, now sitting up against a wall "If someone called the police James woud've been shot more, probably. Or maybe they'd just arrest him, even if he did nothing illegal. They would ruin his life, and for what? Having a panic attack?"

Deadpool looked at him in disbelief, somehow being able to convey it through a mask (he's going to have to ask him how he does that). He then focused on something over Peter's head, but when the latter checked behind his shoulders he couldn't find anything to be worth getting the merc's attention. He assumed it was something to do with the voices that Deadpool’s files often mention.

He waved his hand, as to dismiss someone, and his attention was immediately moved to Peter again "Well Mr Lawful-good, right now I feel like my helping wasn't appreciated. Also I meant the Avengers, or the X-Man" Deadpool crossed his arms "If anyone knows how discriminated against mutants are, it's little ol' me"

"Oh please! As if random civilians had any way to directly contact the Avengers or even the X-Man! And even if we did something tells me the formers don't care enough, nor did we have the time to wait for them to fill up the right paperwork" he said, with more venom in his voice than he was usually willing to let out when talking about the superhero group. It’s not that he hates them, but after the accords, or the mutant registration act, or whatever you wanna call it, it really didn't sit right with Peter that a lot of them agreed with the government.

It seemed like time had stopped. Everyone was staring at him. It wasn't much of a secret that Peter B. Parker wasn't much of a fan of the super hero group. But passive aggressively insulting them in front of a mercenary might not do him much good.

His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of footsteps and a stick hitting the wall getting closer to them, breaking the awkward silence that filled the subway, apart from the whispers that if it weren't for his super-hearing he wouldn't have noticed. They were talking about him, he wasn't surprised. It was to be expected.

Deadpool seemed to notice it as well, and he turned his head and looked at the stairs that lead outside. He then turned to Peter, addressing him one last time.

"Well Bambi, as much as I love talking to your pretty little face, it seems I've overstayed my welcome. I'll see you around, sweetie" after sending a quick kiss his way, he turned around and faced Matthew Murdock, who arrived just in time to bump shoulders with Deadpool before he disappeared in the streets.

"Wait- YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE! YOU SHOOT SOMEONE!" Peter said at the running mercenary. At the same time, the latter addressed Matt saying "Hey Matt! Nice to see your pretty face on this side of town! Gotta blast" completely ignoring Peter in the meanwhile.

He sighed, giving up on trying to make sense of him.

“Nice of you to show up now Matt” he turned to the man “I would have hoped you’d be wearing a lot more red when you did but alas…”

He received an annoyed grimace “Can’t really go out during the day like that” 

“Well.. whatever. Blind lawyer seemed to do the trick” he walked back to James, assessing the injury and reassuring him that an ambulance was on its way. 

His cellphone ringed; “the periodic table song” made a few heads turn his way for a moment, to then go back to doing whatever and waiting for the paramedics to enter the subway station. Peter knew it wouldn’t take too long, he could already hear the sirens in the distance.

“I’m still surprised by how much of a nerd you are” 

“Oh, shut up Murdock. It’s a banger and you know it” he looked at his phone, checking the caller ID, and answered the call “Hey honey bear. Did you change your ringtone in my phone again?” he asked, chuckling a bit. He could see Matt raising an accusatory eyebrow at him with the corner of his eyes.

From the other side of the line he heard a little snorting “We gotta stop that. People will start to think that we’re actually a couple”

“You’re no fun Harry. Anyway, to what do I owe this call, sweetheart” he could sense the eyeroll coming from his friend. He liked to tease him, and he knew that Harry didn’t really mean it when he asked him to stop. Besides, he was having just as much fun as Peter did. Reading the tabloids had become one of their favourite activities to do together.

At that Matt whispered to him “You owe me a favour” and started walking away from the crowd. Peter waved at him goodbye, rolling his eyes at that. It’s not like he really did anything at the end.

“Well, I’d like to know why your school called me, saying you put me as your emergency contact, to ask me why you didn’t show up at work”

“Oh, schnitzels” he started walking, looking for a place that was less crowded.

“Please for the love of God, Pete. Just say “fuck””

He ignored Harry’s plea “I forgot to call and warn them didn’t I?” he groaned, knowing this won’t look good on his curriculum. Not that he wanted to look for another job anytime soon.

Harry laughed “I can’t believe you Peter!”

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh at my pain”

“C’mon. Tell me what happened at least. You got me curious. Also I still wanna know why I’m your emergency contact”

“Ok 1: you’re my emergency contact because you’re my only friend that actually lives in New York, and if I’m… Otherwise occupied” he hinted at his night, and sometimes day when he gets called for help by other supers, job as Spider-man “and am not available you can inform them”

“You’re aware of the fact that I’m still the CEO of a Tech company, right? I don’t have time to babysit you”

“But you love me, so you’ll do anything for me, sweetie”

“Yeah, ok, love. Whatever you say”

“You’re not denying it, that means I’m right” They both chuckled a little “Fill me in. What happened?”

“Mutant on the subway, he lost control of his teleportation powers because of a panic attack, although he was a teenager. Could’ve been his first time manifesting his powers... Deadpool took a pause from his stalking me to shoot the guy in the leg” Of course Peter told Harry. If he was in danger he needed to know. Peter's pretty sure MJ also knows, but that’s just because she’s smart “Now we’re waiting for an ambulance, which I actually think just arrived” As he said that everyone turned their heads to the entrance, their attention caught by the sound of sirens and by the medics making their way to where James was sitting. 

“Well, Harr. I think it’s time for me to make my way to school” 

“Wait- what about your red and black problem?” Harry was starting to get pretty concerned about that, seeing as the fact that Deadpool posed a serious threat was getting more obvious as time went by.

“Harr, sweetheart” Peter started, with his mouth half smiling, understanding his friend’s concern. He wouldn’t admit it, but even though he still felt guilty about bringing Harry into the mess that is Spider-man’s life, it feels good to know there is actually someone that will always be by his side and that worries about him “He’s an unkillable mercenary. If he wanted me dead, I would’ve died the day i broke into SHIELD’s encrypted files to snoop around”

“I still don’t understand why you did that… there’s a reason why they’re encrypted, y’know?” Peter started walking toward the paramedics, to see how James was doing.

“Well yes. But Tony told me not to” he could hear Harry snickering on the other side of the line. After everything that happened with Harry’s father and Gwen, his disastrous breakup with MJ and rehab, hearing him laugh was music to Peter’s ears. Neither of them laughed much those days, it almost seemed like they were the only ones able to make each other laugh for real, not one of those fake and polite laughs you do when everyone finds something funny and you don’t want to be the odd man out, or when someone made a joke and you don’t wanna make them feel bad about the fact that it wasn’t funny. Nor was it one of the ones you do when you don’t want people to know how not okay you are. 

“I should’ve expected that'' they settled in a bit of a comfortable silence. Neither of them wanted to hang up, but the topics of conversations had finished and they both needed to go back to work.

“I’ll see you one of these days. I got a coffee date with this one guy that helped with the mutant situation we had going on” he said while looking towards Ned. The latter noticed him and waved at him while offering a nice little smile that Peter offered back.

“You mean like a ‘coffee date’ kind of coffee date, or a ‘Peter Parker' kind of coffee date?” Harry asked him, a question that based on the tone of voice was loaded with sarcasm.

Peter chuckled “I don’t know if I should be offended, or impressed that I know exactly what you mean” 

“Oh, definitely offended”

“BUT-” Peter tried to speak over him “-it’s a ‘me’ kind of coffee date”

“Think I could come with? It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other” 

“Sure, I don’t think it’d be a problem. We haven’t really decided on a day yet. I won't lie. I kinda miss you, love”

“You had to ruin the moment with the moniker” Peter could tell that there was no heat in that sentence and that Harry was still smiling and enjoying their conversation. 

“Oooh pulling out the big words aren’t we?” 

Harry snickered at Peter’s remak. After all he was the one with a PhD in this friendship “See you soon, Pete. Don’t die just yet” 

“I won’t make any promises” and with that they hung up. He wasn’t sure which one of them did first, but it wasn’t all that important and yet it still made him wonder. It made him think, which if you asked him he’d tell you it wasn’t a good thing for him to think too much. They had tried the whole romantic relationship thing a while back, before… well, everything, and they agreed it just wasn’t for them and they were better off as friends. 

Back to James.

He stared at his phone, absentmindedly writing a letter to the school principal to apologize for the unexpected delay and to explain the situation. Luckily they knew each other pretty well. Mr. Moritia was the same principal that Peter had the pleasure of having for the last two year of his high school career, so the man knew that Peter wasn’t the guy to just skip class even if it physically pained him to be there.

Peter remembered the first few weeks of being Spider-man, thinking that everything fell on his shoulders. Between grieving for his uncle Ben and adjusting to his new powers and the borderline obsession to save everyone he did his fair share of skipping. But he has since learned to thrust other superheroes to take care of the smaller scale problems when he was otherwise occupied (all hail MJ, the only one in their friend group with actual, working brain cells). He had a web, pun totally intended, of connection with some vigilantes that he could quickly send a message to and that would take care of the villain in no time. Luckily larger scale threats meant that students would be sent to a safer location, away from the conflict with the rest of the civilians. It was easy to pretend to be looking for his friends and sneak away to change into Spider-man. Most of the time Harry would cover for him, or MJ if she was in town. 

Obviously there were exceptions; sometimes the villains got smart and kidnapped someone or took hostages, promising to release them only upon Spider-man showing up. Sometimes he was able to call Ben, but most times his clone was out of town and couldn’t make it in time. Sometimes they were able to fool the villain and get the civilians to safety without him, or stall for enough time that he could get out of class.

When everything failed though he was left with one sole option: lie and say that he either had a family emergency or say that he knew someone of the hostages. It pained him to take advantage of people’s sympathy and lie about such terrible situations that others are really in, but it would hurt him more to let someone get injured, or even die because he thought of keeping his job as more important. 

The paramedics were performing first aid on James’ wound, as much as ‘closing up a bullet wound to prepare it for stitches' can count as first aid. It seemed that the wound looked worse than it actually was and that the guy was going to be just fine. 

As they hurried him into the ambulance and Peter made his way near the tracks to catch the next train, Ned approached him.

He was looking nervous, fiddling with his hands and avoiding eye contact with him.

After a pretty awkward silence he was the first to speak up “You know, I still can’t believe how well you handled the situation” a pause. Peter understood him. He, too, was a mess when meeting new people. Unless they were trying to kill him and/or others and he had a mask. In that case, he was a master at social interaction. Don’t let Johnny Storm tell you otherwise. 

“Are you a mutant, too?” Ned finally said, looking up at Peter. They had a good 20cm height difference. 

Peter snorted, a very inelegant noise that he wasn’t too fond of “Nah, man. I work with teenagers, so I’ve seen my fair share of panic attacks and mental breakdowns. It also helps that I was a mess back in high school so I’ve also had my fair share of panic attacks and mental breakdowns” he rubbed his neck, a little shyness and shame that still came when he talked about his high school years.

“Why do you ask?” Ned seemed startled by the question, as if not believing that he would get that far into a conversation. The several star wars and technology themed pins and patched the man had on his jacked were familiar to Peter. He wore some of the same designs on his backpack since highschool and he was aware of how much hell you get for being a nerd. Maybe Ned just never had the luck to meet his own version of MJ, someone that helped him make friends, without having to sacrifice being yourself to be popular.

“I just- I find it so fascinating! I mean! Some of the stuff mutant’s bodies have evolved to be able to do! I think it’s neat and- and- and interesting… I’ve read about so many different powers, I mean- just looking at the superheroes in the city!” oh, Peter was especially familiar with the rambling when someone asked about something you’re passionate about. 

“First of all the X-men! They’re so cool! Wolverine and Colossus are the perfect duo already in my opinion, but then you put someone like Nightcrawler in the mix and BOOM!” he mimicked an explosion with his hand “they’re unstoppable! Well, as long as we’re talking about power compatibility and disregarding personality...” he laughed a little awkwardly.

“I’ve read all of Professor Xavier’s works on the mutagene X and I think it’s so interesting” he finished,a little bashful at having talked for so long, as if convinced that Peter was already annoyed with him. 

The train arrived at that moment and Peter excused himself “I have to take this train. I’m actually super late for work, but I would love to talk to you more about this'' they exchanged a smile “You might find it hard to believe but it’s hard to find someone to discuss these things with that isn't a mutantist…” Peter made a disgusted face that elicited a chuckle from his soon to be new friend.

“If you still want to get coffee with me, and possibly my friend Harry, don’t worry he’s a good guy” he said that last part quickly, almost scared that Ned wouldn’t want Harry to come “text me when you’re free and we can decide where to meet up” Peter made his way to the train’s entrance “Hope to hear from you soon, man!” he weaved him goodbye, and Ned did the same.

Finally, his day could start and he could calmly go to work.

Apparently his Spidey-sense was aware of comedic irony, because as soon as he set down and the train started moving, he felt the familiar tingling sensation in the back of his neck.

“Wow, you must be one hell of a social butterfly!” Peter almost stuck himself to the ceiling. Even with his powers he wasn’t always prepared for what was to come, if he didn’t know what was coming. He hated when his Spidey-sense was just vague, but it also meant that the danger was very low level, so really. He shouldn’t be complaining. 

Deadpool appeared by his side and seemed determined to sit right beside him.


	2. Think outside the box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is worried about his secret and he hopes Deapool will not uncover what shall remain for him and a handful of people to know.
> 
> At this point, what is Wade's plan? Are we sure even he knows it?

Peter jumped, surprised.

His Spider-sense wasn’t always as useful as he’d want it to be.

“What?” he asked. He was not prepared for someone to try and interact with him.

He turned around and faced Deadpool. It was the first time he’d seen him with no mask in person. He knew from SHIELD’s files that the man didn’t wear a mask for the same reason that most vigilantes and some supers wore a mask. Apparently what gave him powers also left him incredibly disfigured and he didn’t feel comfortable going around showing his face to everyone. Peter could imagine why. People can be horrible sometimes.

“Oh wow you are pretty…” Deadpool stared at him wide-eyed, ignoring Peter’s confusion.

“Ehm…” Peter averted his eyes, fixing his glasses to keep his hands from fidgeting. After highschool he had started to wear fake glasses, even if the spider bite made it unnecessary for him to do so; he could even say that his sight was somewhat better than the average person’s. They were his father’s old frames that uncle Ben kept with him at all times.

“So, sweetie” Deadpool turned around, facing the seats in front of him “who are you, really?” his tone was suddenly bitter and serious, much different from the chirping, happy-go-lucky one he has heard from him since they met.

Well that was an unexpected question.

“I- I don’t… understand?” he was low-key panicking. He didn’t know how to answer, really. But he feared that Deadpool might be suspicious of his secret identity. The man did stalk him after all…

One thing Tony taught him that was very useful was to never show your hand to the enemy. So he feigned ignorance.

Peter didn’t need a mercenary to be onto him. For every possible scenario on how the situation could’ve come wrong, he hadn’t even entertained the thought that Deadpool might unmask him. Either figuratively or literally…

“C’mon! You’re supposed to be a teacher! You can’t act dumb” Deadpool crossed his arms, still looking to the seats right in front of them.

“Bold of you to assume it’s an act” if he weren’t him in that moment, Peter would’ve slapped himself. It wasn’t the time for quipping! And surely it wasn’t a good idea to do so out of costume. He worked so hard to separate the two identities, he shouldn’t be jeopardizing everything like this. He knows better than to mix the two lives together; and, sure, he’s aware of the fact that some jokes are not going to out him as Spider-man, but he wasn’t up for pushing his luck with the merc. He was still a merc after all.

His joke elicited a chuckle from the man sitting beside him “Well I’d expect more from someone with a PhD in Biochemical engineering” Peter knew that was just Deadpool’s way of telling him he did his research and looked into what he believed to be a normal civilian.

Fortunately for Peter that also meant he didn’t know about his extracurricular activities. He felt a moment of relief knowing that he was doing a relatively good job at keeping his red and blue secret a, well, secret.

“But something tells me there’s more to you than dealing with hormonal teenagers and a boring life as a teacher” Deadpool kept talking to him, arms and legs crossed, awaiting a response.

“Hey!” Peter turned around to look at the man, still unable to look at his face. He decided to try and keep avoiding the question. He didn’t know if it was the best way to go, but outright lying without a well thought out plan was not going to do him any good. He learned that the hard way.

“My life is not boring” he didn’t want to admit it, but he took offence to that. Being a teacher might be considered more normal than his other hobbies, but he liked having an influence on the newer generations. It also was a great deal of fun making his students cringe, acting like he doesn’t understand what the internet is even if he’s only almost thirty. He’s also very aware of how important having a good teacher is; his experience with Miles Warren was more than enough to make him realize that, and his internship with Dr. Connors certainly didn’t help.

“School is always boring” was the only response he received, in a hushed voice, almost too quiet to be heard from a normal human. Unfortunately for Deadpool, Peter was not a normal human.

“Anyway” Deadpool brought the attention back on himself “that doesn’t explain anything about you. Your life is full of inconsistencies and weird stuff like the stunt you pulled earlier. So, spit it out”

Peter was about to try and come up with a lie, but why should he? He realized that if the man wanted to know he could’ve simply looked more into him, but if he was asking him he probably already did and found nothing and that was his last resort.

Deadpool hadn’t found anything incriminating.

“I really don’t understand what you mean. I’m just a passionate activist and not a jerk. Why am I suspicious if I defend a mutant?” Peter was getting heated. It wasn’t fair to non-enhanced people to take for granted that all of them are mutantists.

“Well, yes. You can’t blame me for thinking that. There are way more people that discriminate against us than people who accept us” Peter was a little confused by the fact that Deadpool kept referring to himself as a mutant, since it contradicted the information SHIELD’s files had on him.

Deapool wasn’t really trying to conceal their conversation, so people were staring at them from the start. Peter hadn’t payed them any mind, because he was keeping his voice at a normal volume and at least he was managing to keep the conversation from going on a more secretive path.

Right now, though, their glances weren’t because of annoyance or curiosity; they were looking at Deadpool with fear in their eyes.

Peter never thought he would be defending the man who stalked him, but honestly? He was wearing a grey hoodie and jeans. Peter could clearly see Hello Kitty socks on his feet. There was nothing about him that would warren that reaction. So it was just mutantism.

Usually he’d be by people's side. Deadpool’s work uniform was a red and black leather bodysuit with several fire weapons and katanas and that is intimidating. However while they were sitting next to each other he was a normal guy… well as much as someone like Deadpool could be considered normal. Ignoring the whole mercenary business, the man could be described as eccentric at best.

He crossed his own arms and legs, trying to look intimidating, and sent a side-eyed look of disgust to all the people he knew were judging them. Or judging mostly Deadpool.

“Still, to me it doesn’t seem like it justifies stalking me and interfering with my life. So really, what is this about?” he was tired of the whole situation and the staring from the people on the train wasn’t making it any more bearable.

However his tone seemed to make Deadpool bolder, and as if it made him more comfortable, he started chuckling with a grin on his face.

“Well, sugar. Your life’s all over the place and you broke into SHIELD encrypted files for seemingly no reason but to snoop around and collect info on yours truly” he pointed at himself with his thumb and leaned to the side while holding himself up by resting the elbow of the opposite arm on his knee “and then you did nothing with the info you stole. Which begs the question:” Deadpool turned around after what Peter could only describe as a dramatic pause.

“Why even do it?”

They looked at each other for a second and then Peter turned around, assuming the same position he previously had.

“Because I could. Isn’t that reason enough?” He tried to smile in a way that would seem more mischievous and less ‘oh my- I’m basically lying to a known mercenary's face. He’s totally going to kill me. This is not the hill I want to die on’.

He thought that going the humorous route would at least earn him some time, so when they announced his stop he let out a sigh of relief.

The merc chuckled “I like you, kid. So I won’t unalive you for breaking my privacy” he wiped away a fake tear while pouting. Peter didn’t know if the man was messing with him or if he genuinely was that childish. SHIELD’s files focused more on the ‘unkillable skilled mercenary with several severe mental illnesses’; they skipped over the ‘seems to have an affinity with Hello Kitty and likes flirting with people’ part of his personality. Not that Peter didn’t like to flirt with people when he had the suit on as well, but that was beside the point.

The train stopped and Peter bolted to the opening doors, expecting Deadpool to follow him but the mercenary stayed put.

While he was gettin up his spidey-sense tingled at the back of his head, for a second. He thought it had something to do with Deadpool so he turned around, but the sensation was gone and he didn’t see anything incriminating on the merc.

The man was actually waving at him with a big smile on his face. Peter thought he almost resembled a little kid or a golden retriever at that moment. It felt weird to relate something like that, very innocent and fragile, to someone with Deadpool’s reputation and skill set.

He finally turned around again and quickly walked out of the door, fixing his bag and facing away from the other man and sprinting out of the train while trying to ignore the glimpses of everyone that had the misfortune of overhearing their conversation.

Wade followed him with his eyes until the younger man was out of his sight.

**[Well that was uneventful.]**

_{You think that shooting a mutant in a subway is “uneventful”?}_ Yellow sounded incredulous.

 **[I meant for the mission, dumbass...]** Wade was sure that if White had a body, he would be rolling his eyes.

 _{We met a smoking hot piece of ass! I’d say that’s a pretty good event!}_ Yellow seemed to ignore White’s response.

**[And he probably already has a partner. You see how he acts with that red head? And if he’s not with her I bet he’s that Osborn kid’s boy toy.]**

_{“Hey!”}_ both Yellow and Wade were taken aback by White’s words. It was not fair to Parker to assume such things about him. Not that there was anything wrong with being a boy toy, Wade is far from being ok with slut shaming. He just thought that Parker could do so much better than Harry Osborn.

 **[You’re saying there is something better than the young, rich CEO of a tech company?]** White enquired, his question meant to be more of a rhetorical one than something that required an answer.

“Well, you’ve got a point there...” Wade answered, while looking at the cellphone in his hands. Maybe stealing the guy’s phone was a little too much, but Wade was starting to suspect the worst, and the boxes certainly weren’t helping.

Yellow gasped _{What if he’s a drug lord?}_

“That would explain the very obvious burner phone…” he started considering the idea. After all, a teacher would be facilitated when looking for clients.

 **[And you really think that Matt wouldn’t notice? Or that he would let it slide?]** White sounded incredulous, obviously not buying Yellow’s theory.

“You’re right…” Wade relaxed back onto his seat, passing a hand over his eyes and directing his gaze upwards, away from other people. He knows Mattie wouldn’t let it fly if Parker was a criminal, since they clearly knew each other.

“So” he paused as the train stopped. He put the stolen phone in his pocket and started getting out of there and into the station “who else uses burner phones?”

_{Spies!}_

**[Paranoid people]**

_{Cheaters, too!}_

_[Fellow supes?]_

There was a pause.

 _{... supes?}_ Yellow sounded confused, but also on the verge of a laughing fit.

**[Yes, supes. Like ‘supers’]**

Yellow started laughing. It was loud and painful in Wade’s ears. He winced at the sound.

 **[You idiot, like other people with superpowers. I’m certainly not saying we’re a superhero]** Wade should make a list of how many times White sounded like he was rolling his eyes; it would be a very deadly drinking game.

 _{It just- it sounds like you’re saying ‘soups’!}_ Yellow said, in between laughs.

 **[What? No it doesn’t! Stop laughing, you ass!]** White started getting really annoyed with the other.

“Hate to agree with him, but it does sound like you’re saying ‘soups’” Wade couldn’t stop a grin from forming on his lips.

He let the boxes yell at each other for a while. It was annoying, but trying to stop them would just get him caught in the crossfire; in his experience it was better to let them tire themselves out. He tuned them out, trying not to listen to them. After all it would be useless to pay attention. They weren’t going to listen to him, so what would be the point?

He put his hands in his hoodie’s pockets and made his way to the subway station's exit. Parker’s phone was there; he held it in his hand, thinking about what to do with it.

He was sure about his first step: bring it to Weasel. He was better than Wade when it came to handling technology. He didn’t want to risk locking himself out of the phone, or triggering whatever failsafe Parker might’ve put in it. As far as Wade knew, the young man was pretty good with technology, and if he went as far as buying a burner phone to keep whatever little secret he was trying to keep, how can he know he won’t have failsafes in place.

 **[With your luck, maybe it deletes all information when it isn’t unlocked with his fingerprints]** White interjected Wade’s thoughts.

“Glad to hear you’re finally done with arguing” he was a little sarcastic, he couldn’t help it. Even if it was nice to have it a little quieter up there, he prefered when they ignored him.

 _{Yeah, it was getting boring}_ Yellow sounded like a little kid who had been forced to do something and had just finished their task.

They all stayed silent while they made their way to meet Weasel. It wasn't a common occurrence, but Wade would never look a gifted horse in the mouth. Silence was nice, especially when he had to plan his next moves.

He quickened his pace, noticing that he was starting to enter the sketchy neighborhood where the bar was built. He knew the way like the back of his hand- or not really since he’s always wearing gloves nowadays. He knew the way to the bar like he knew how hot Spidey’s body is.

 **[What does that even mean?]** White asked, his voice already annoyed even if Wade hadn’t opened his mouth yet.

“I spend a lot of time looking at Spidey's body. I know those shapes in detail” he cupped his hands and made two circles with them.

 **[Don’t be gross...]** Wade shrugged at the insult.

 _{It’s not like we ever met him though...}_ there was a twinge of sadness in Yellow’s voice.

“It’s a matter of time. As soon as that Iron Dildo” he grimaced at the sole thought of the man, “stops breathing down his neck every second I’m sure we can arrange something” he said hopefully with a big smile on his face.

 **[You really think he would want to have something to do with us?]** White started and Wade had an idea of where the conversation was going. It wasn’t the first time they had it.

 **[You kill people for money]** as soon as White said the word ‘kill’ Wade mumbled “You know I don’t like that word!” under his breath.

 **[You are aware of the fact that his moral compass is stuck on the ‘no murder’ rule, right?]** it was obvious by the way he said it that it was a rhetorical question.

Wade answered anyway.

“I know that White!” He was exasperated. “But maybe we can come to an agreement of some sort…” he started lowering his voice halfway through the sentence. Rationally he could tell that it was very unlikely they could become friends without one of them changing, and Wade could never ask Spider-Man to change. He thought the man was perfect, he held him on a pedestal.

_{Which is probably not a good idea… He is still human, what if he turns out to be a horrible person? We don’t deserve anything other than being disappointed like that, honestly...}_

He ignored Yellow’s words, but he couldn’t lie and say that they didn’t hit him hard.

The one that should change for their friendship to work would be Wade himself. He didn’t think he had the strength to actually do that. After all, can he really change? Nature versus nurture, am I right? And if he could, would it be a good idea? He was taking out horrible people and if he didn’t, who knows what they could do to those around them.

The phone in his pocket vibrated, putting on hold his philosophical internal monologue.

Wade jumped. It had been almost half an hour, did Parker already notice? What did he need his phone for if he was working?

Wade was surprised, but he didn’t panic. He wouldn’t be that good as a mercenary if he panicked every time something went slightly off plan. He calmly took the cellphone out of his pocket and checked the notification panel available in the blocked screen.

The background picture was that of a young lady with short, blond hair laughing at the camera with a book on her hand. Wade doesn’t recognize her.

He focused on the notification again. It was from a massage from a contact named “The One And Only” surrounded by a bunch of different heart emojis.

It read :“Why are you so far from midtown? Did something happen?”

Wade wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. Or, well, the skin where his eyebrows would be if he had any.

He watched the screen as it flashed and vibrated with another message notification. It was from the same contact and all Wade could read was :“You gotta reach back to me, tiger. Harr didn’t message me so if you’re-” before the message was cut short.

 _{That’s not suspicious at all...}_ Yellow interjected after all the minutes of silence. It was fun while it lasted.

“Yeah… Why does he need someone to know his location?” Wade thought it was very weird, almost like Parker had some sort of babysitter. He was more curious than ever.

He took a look at the phone and started walking a little faster, wanting to have Weasel work on it as soon as possible. He noticed that the phone was all types of roughed up. There were cracks and scratches all over the screen, covered by a protective glass. The sides were dented in some places, but not enough to damage the crystals in the screen and affect the visuals.

The phone cover was a plain clear case with two Polaroid pictures inside. He assumes the teenager in the middle, playing with what seemed to be a chemistry kit, to be Peter Parker himself, while the man sitting next to him and smiling was probably the uncle Wade read about. Parker was too old for it to be his father.

The other picture portrayed an old woman laughing at the camera with teary eyes. She was holding a picture frame, but due to the angle the Polaroid was taken at he couldn’t really see what was on it. He’s pretty sure the woman is Parker’s aunt, who died a couple of months prior.

_{Jeez… This guy’s life is sad}_

**[It’s not like we didn’t know. We were there when Wade did his research...]**

_{I was saying it for the reader’s sake! How would they know we had that kind of opinion if I hadn’t said it?}_ Yellow wined.

White groaned and decided to drop the topic. Apparently he wasn’t up for dealing with Yellow’s antics.

They made it to the bar and luckily, for once, the dude outside, that Wade’s never bothered to learn the name of, didn't give him any shit for getting in by the side entrance.

“He's starting to learn” Wade grinned at that. Their little pissing contest had been going on for months, so much so that Weasel has started to wonder which of them would give up quicker. Would Wade use the main entrance or would his bouncer stop caring?

Apparently Wade won.

 _{He’s no fun! I hoped we could have an excuse to beat him up again...}_ Yellow said, disappointed at not being able to fight someone at 10 in the morning.

 **[We’re voices inside this idiot’s head. You wouldn’t have been a part of the fight, why do you care?]** and another eyeroll for Wade’s drinking game.

_{It would’ve had been fun to watch}_

Wade made his way to Weasel and set on one of the stools in front of him.

“So” the other man started, without even greeting his friend “how is your little solo project going? You fucked the guy yet?” he asked while cleaning a shot glass before pouring Wade some Superhero approved alcohol.

“I shot a guy at the subway station, another vigilante showed up out of costume, called by Petey on a burner phone, who also defended the mutant I shot” he saw Weasel raise an eyebrow, clearly annoyed by the lack of interesting events.

Well, interesting by Wade’s standards. After you hear stories about getting blown to bits and meeting the goddess of the underworld after having tea with death everything else seems a little boring in comparison.

“...and I stole Parker’s phone” he reached into his pocket and set the phone in front of Weasel to let him examine it himself.

“Is this his burner phone?” he picked it up and looked at it, stopping for a second to look at the picture on the lockscreen, seemingly contemplating something.

“No, he had that secured in his handy-dandy little school bag” Wade crossed his arms on the wooden surface of the bar and rested his head on them.

“What did you say the name of the guy was?” his friend asked, already going to work on unlocking the cellphone.

“Peter Benjamin Parker. Why?” Wade turned his head so that he could watch his friend’s back.

“He wouldn’t happen to be the same Peter Parker that went to Columbia University with me, would he?” Weasel was frowning at the phone “He put some good security into this piece of junk” he muttered.

“Oh my God! Don’t tell me you slept with him” Wade straightened his back and looked at his friend in horror “I really don’t want to reevaluate the guy’s taste in men” he groaned.

“What? No, you burned piece of toast” Weasel didn’t move his eyes from his computer, still working on the phone.

“‘Burned piece of toast’? That was weak, dude” Wade put his elbow on the counter, resting his head on his hand and sipping at his drink.

“I’m occupied, leave me be” the man waved a hand dismissively at his friend “But no, I haven’t. We were friends back in the day. Me, him and… Gwen” Wade almost didn’t hear him say that last name.

He knew when to fuck around, and he knew that wasn’t the moment. Not about whoever the girl is.

“Is she the girl in his screensaver? Your old girlfriend?” he asked, his tone more serious.

Weasel scoffed “No, she was Parker’s” he stopped smiling “they broke up and after a few months after we graduated she was killed”

“Oh…” she seemed like someone Weasel cared about “I’m sorry to hear that, man” even the boxes went quiet, after wondering how Parker was scoring all these hot people.

“Don’t worry man. I left college long before I could graduate”

But Wade had to wonder “How come I never came across all this when I looked into Petey’s life, though”

“No one really knew why they broke up. One day Peter was avoiding her like the plague, he didn’t have any friends at the time, what with Norman Osborn going crazy and Parker being a social reject, so no one knew” he stopped, resting onto the back of his chair.

“Gwen still cared about him and kept his secrets” he shrugged and turned around to look at Wade “the only thing she would tell anyone is that Peter was the one that broke it off” he chuckled at that.

“I mean, she was way out of his league, so it was a surprise for everyone” they stood in silence for a few seconds and Weasel raised his glasses to rub his eyes, going back to work on unlocking the phone. If Wade didn’t know better, he’d say that his friend was holding back tears.

He’s so glad the bar is closed because otherwise Weasel would’ve lost all credibility.

Wade sipped at the drink he’s been ignoring, waiting for his friend to continue.

“I guess he cut her off his life completely” he paused, taking a big breath before continuing “didn’t even show up at her funeral” there was bitterness in his voice, resentment.

 _{Wouldn’t have pegged the guy for being such a dick, not gonna lie}_ Yellow spoke, one of the first sentences either of the boxes uttered since they started listening to the story.

“Yeah, me neither…” Wade muttered, confusion showing on his face. The guy’s life really didn’t line up and Wade was too curious to remember why this whole mess started in the first place.

“It’s unlocked” his friend turned around and handed Wade the unlocked phone “I also made it so that he won’t be able to track it like he did before”

The man stared at it “I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t know he was the one using the bar’s private wi-fi” Weasel said, a twinge of sadness in his voice “Didn’t think he’d have the guts to do something illegal, he’s always been a wimp” the laughter that exited the man’s mouth was a fake one, Wade could tell.

“I don’t think he even recognized me” Weasel went back to his usual tone of voice, the fake one he used on those who go there to do business “But what can I say? I changed a lot”

“So, tell what’s in there” he changed the subject and Wade let him “You got me curious”

Wade immediately checked the messages, wanting to see what the person that contacted Parker before had to say. He looked at their previous conversations, noticing it was mostly pictures on Parker’s part and a few similar messages to the ones he saw that morning, with various degrees of butt licking on Parker’s part for ‘making her worry’.

He read the new message out loud “You gotta reach back to me, tiger. Harr didn’t message me so if you’re otherwise occupied and you didn’t tell either of us I swear I’m going to kill with my own hands”

“Geez” Weasel was the first one to speak up “who sent him that?” he asked.

They checked the contact and Wade recognised the woman in the picture “It’s Mary Jane Watson. Model and journalist. Lives in London”

“What is he doing, talking to a model?” Weasel was incredulous, and Wade couldn’t blame him. If he didn’t see it himself he probably wouldn’t have believed it either.

“Could be his girlfriend, I’m not sure. The guy doesn't really have a social media presence”

“Girlfriend?” his friend now sounded like he straight up didn't believe him.

“It’s either her or the Osborn kid” Wade shrugged.

“Nah, Harry’s totally straight” Weasel waived a hand dismissively, taking time to clean his glasses on his shirt, like a gay Harry Osborn wasn’t even a possibility to consider and wasn’t worth time to think about “You shouldn’t believe the tabloids when you do research on a target”

“They sure do flirt a lot, though…” Wade said as he opened the chat Parker had with Harry. That, too, was filled with pictures and worried messages, but it also had some nerdy talk about movies and video games. All with a good dose of pet names and heart emojis.

“What?” his friend focused his gaze back in Wade’s direction.

The latter turned the phone around, showing the chat to Weasel “Look at the contact name”

“‘Sweetie Pie’ with a bunch of cake emojis? Really?” the man raised an eyebrow in disbelief. It seemed a little too much for someone like the Peter Parker Weasel knew.

“I think it’s cute” said Wade, smirking at the adorableness Parker seemed to hooze out of himself. He talked to the guy for approximately 40 minutes and he already wants him in his life.

 _{Just like with Dopinder}_ Yellow seemed to have always been fond of the taxi driver. Wade wasn’t sure of the reason but he’s not really up to deciphering Yellow’s nonsense. So he avoids asking, for everyone's sake.

“Well, I’m not here to figure out this guy’s relationship status, so…” his friend gestures with his hands for Wade to keep going.

He opened the photo gallery, hoping to find something there “It’s… a lot of pictures of New York’s skyline. Some Spider-Man shots? How did he get those?” the man wondered out loud. He considered himself one of Spider-Man biggest fans and he was pretty sure he had never seen those pictures before.

“Maybe he sells them?” Weasel pulled him out of his thoughts, posing a relatively intelligent question.

 **[Putting ‘Weasel’ and ‘intelligent’ in the same sentence feels like a lie]** commented White.

 _{‘Weasel isn’t intelligent’}_ Yellow intervened _{Is that better?}_ White’s response was a simple grunt, probably annoyed that Yellow talked. It happened a lot more than Wade would like, it usually meant the two were going to fight.

“I guess it could be true, I don’t think teaching in high school pays that much” he contemplated the idea and sure, it could male sense, but there were so many other incognitas that he didn’t know what to think.

He opened the news app and noticed that Parker has his notification on for some keywords “‘Spider-Man’,” he began reading to his friend “basically every Avenger’s name and aliases, some villains and at least 3 different misspellings of ‘symbiote’” he paused after finishing.

 **[Well, someone’s a fan...]** White said, at least a little weirded out by the whole situation.

“These are the only keywords he saved” he rested on the counter, voice tired, completely out of ideas and looked up at his friend, who seemed deep in thought.

“What if Parker is some sort of genius supervillain?” Weasel said, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to have to had a bunch of tags as I go along, but nothing bad honestly.  
> Hope you all liked this chapter, I'm trying to keep the same lenght and publication time the same for all of them, so here I am!
> 
> Edit: I couldn't figure out how to do bold and italics writing, but now I found it and modified this chapter.


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